I've no idea when the edited versions will get posted so I'll just copy the translations here. Courtesy of Phantom Translator from 4chan.

どんなに辛く悲しい時も・・・
No matter how sad, or painful things may be...

ヒック
*hic*

この儀式をする事により
If you perform this ceremony,

幸せになれる！！！
you will be happy!!!

人生という荒波を乗り越えるため人類が作り出した英知・・・まさに神秘な
る儀式
It was born from the wisdom of man as a means to overcome the stormy seas of life... A truly mysterious ceremony.

まあ、私のようなキングの称号を持つ者でも、日に３度以上は危険だがね・
・・
Well, it's dangerous for those like me who hold the title of King to do it more than three times a day...