One should always carry a gigantic hammer around at all times, in case of sudden tentacle rape. It pays to be prepared.

It probably also helps if you are an android.

That sucks. We have cockroaches at work. They look to be regular size until they get close to you, then they stand on their hindest legs at 140+cm. There's always a psychedelic swirl of colours behind them, and wacky music to go along with it.